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Patch
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    April fools thread

    rkwsuperstar
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    Post by rkwsuperstar Wed Apr 27, 2016 3:10 pm

    James.k.Polk wrote:
    Patch wrote:
    James.k.Polk wrote:Unless something changes, it looks like this Sunday I will be flying out to New Orleans for a couple of days. Our company compketed (is completing?) a merger with another cell phone mining company and I get to go there and help with the repair centers.

    I'm not exactly sure what the task is, or what cities, exactly. Just that it's in Louisianna and were flying. If it were Shreveport I think we'd be driving.

    I've never been to Nola. Guess I can scratch that one off the list.

    Pat O'Brien's in the French Quarter have a Hurricane. Check out the voodoo shops. Eat some Cajun food, check out the casinos. Don't mosey to far out of the quarter. I don't go past the Flag Hotel ( cant remember the name, but you will see it), or more than a 2 blocks either way of the quarter. I like it better in the afternoon. The piss and vomit smell hasn't set in. Still beggers around but not as crazy. At night expect to have friendly locals offer to show you around, hoping you wil get careless with your cash so they can rob you.
    I kept my wallet in my front pocket. I have had a great time every visit. It's a fun place.

    Don't know if there is going to be any free time. We have six stores to visit in two days. We might be driving around and visiting stores the whole time.

    I've always wanted to visit NOLA. I was hoping maybe this next year, but that's out now. Maybe when I turn 40.
    theIllustriousDrGonzo
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    Post by theIllustriousDrGonzo Wed Apr 27, 2016 1:55 pm

    James.k.Polk wrote:Unless something changes, it looks like this Sunday I will be flying out to New Orleans for a couple of days. Our company compketed (is completing?) a merger with another cell phone mining company and I get to go there and help with the repair centers.

    I'm not exactly sure what the task is, or what cities, exactly. Just that it's in Louisianna and were flying. If it were Shreveport I think we'd be driving.

    I've never been to Nola. Guess I can scratch that one off the list.

    Go to Lafitte's blacksmith shop. My favorite place.
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    Post by James.k.Polk Wed Apr 27, 2016 9:02 am

    Patch wrote:
    NebulaJack wrote:

    Is that not a normal thing to do? I've always kept my wallet there. Seem's like keeping it in the back pocket and having to reach further to get it would be more of a pain in the ass.

    I usually carry on my back pocket. My son is going to Europe in June for a school trip. They will be going to London, Paris, Rome and some town in Italy. The school told everyone to get a hidden wallet due to all the pick pockets in Paris.

    I've carried mine in a front pocket for a long time. But it seems like most guys in this part of the country favor the back pocket wallet. My high school buddy was pick pocketed at Six a Flags once.

    Mainly I choose the front pocket because it's roomier.
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    Post by Patch Wed Apr 27, 2016 7:42 am

    NebulaJack wrote:

    Is that not a normal thing to do? I've always kept my wallet there. Seem's like keeping it in the back pocket and having to reach further to get it would be more of a pain in the ass.

    I usually carry on my back pocket. My son is going to Europe in June for a school trip. They will be going to London, Paris, Rome and some town in Italy. The school told everyone to get a hidden wallet due to all the pick pockets in Paris.
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    Post by Patch Wed Apr 27, 2016 7:39 am

    James.k.Polk wrote:

    Don't know if there is going to be any free time. We have six stores to visit in two days. We might be driving around and visiting stores the whole time.

    Hope you find some time to have a little fun. The voodoo shops are pretty cool.

    I missed out of a big jackpot in one of a casinos there. It was a 2 coin slot and I was going back and forth between one and two, when the jackpot came up. I only had one in and got nothing. Sad


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    Post by NebulaJack Tue Apr 26, 2016 5:27 pm

    Patch wrote:An Arizona couple, both well into their 80's, go to a sex therapist's office.
    The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?
    The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?'
    The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.

    When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse..'

    He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says good bye.

    The next week, the same couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.

    This happens several weeks in a row.

    The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.

    Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?'

    The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything.

    She's married; so we can't go to her house.

    I'm married; and we can't go to my house.
    The Holiday Inn charges $98.
    The Hilton charges $139.

    We do it here for $50, and best of all....

    Medicare pays $43 of it.

    Nice one. That got a genuine chuckle outta me.

    Patch wrote:
    I kept my wallet in my front pocket.

    Is that not a normal thing to do? I've always kept my wallet there. Seem's like keeping it in the back pocket and having to reach further to get it would be more of a pain in the ass.
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    Post by James.k.Polk Tue Apr 26, 2016 11:59 am

    Patch wrote:
    James.k.Polk wrote:Unless something changes, it looks like this Sunday I will be flying out to New Orleans for a couple of days. Our company compketed (is completing?) a merger with another cell phone mining company and I get to go there and help with the repair centers.

    I'm not exactly sure what the task is, or what cities, exactly. Just that it's in Louisianna and were flying. If it were Shreveport I think we'd be driving.

    I've never been to Nola. Guess I can scratch that one off the list.

    Pat O'Brien's in the French Quarter have a Hurricane. Check out the voodoo shops. Eat some Cajun food, check out the casinos. Don't mosey to far out of the quarter. I don't go past the Flag Hotel ( cant remember the name, but you will see it), or more than a 2 blocks either way of the quarter. I like it better in the afternoon. The piss and vomit smell hasn't set in. Still beggers around but not as crazy. At night expect to have friendly locals offer to show you around, hoping you wil get careless with your cash so they can rob you.
    I kept my wallet in my front pocket. I have had a great time every visit. It's a fun place.

    Don't know if there is going to be any free time. We have six stores to visit in two days. We might be driving around and visiting stores the whole time.
    Patch
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    Post by Patch Tue Apr 26, 2016 9:31 am

    An Arizona couple, both well into their 80's, go to a sex therapist's office.
    The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?
    The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?'
    The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.

    When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse..'

    He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says good bye.

    The next week, the same couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.

    This happens several weeks in a row.

    The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.

    Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?'

    The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything.

    She's married; so we can't go to her house.

    I'm married; and we can't go to my house.
    The Holiday Inn charges $98.
    The Hilton charges $139.

    We do it here for $50, and best of all....

    Medicare pays $43 of it.
    Patch
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    Post by Patch Tue Apr 26, 2016 9:20 am

    James.k.Polk wrote:Unless something changes, it looks like this Sunday I will be flying out to New Orleans for a couple of days. Our company compketed (is completing?) a merger with another cell phone mining company and I get to go there and help with the repair centers.

    I'm not exactly sure what the task is, or what cities, exactly. Just that it's in Louisianna and were flying. If it were Shreveport I think we'd be driving.

    I've never been to Nola. Guess I can scratch that one off the list.

    Pat O'Brien's in the French Quarter have a Hurricane. Check out the voodoo shops. Eat some Cajun food, check out the casinos. Don't mosey to far out of the quarter. I don't go past the Flag Hotel ( cant remember the name, but you will see it), or more than a 2 blocks either way of the quarter. I like it better in the afternoon. The piss and vomit smell hasn't set in. Still beggers around but not as crazy. At night expect to have friendly locals offer to show you around, hoping you wil get careless with your cash so they can rob you.
    I kept my wallet in my front pocket. I have had a great time every visit. It's a fun place.
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    Post by Patch Tue Apr 26, 2016 9:08 am

    James.k.Polk wrote:
    Right now I'm partly thinking that this is all just a self indulgence. You, Arkay and Maybe Gonzo look at the drawings. I need to not kid mtself that there's any audience at large flavoring to see goofy aliens and sexy moth men.

    You are selling yourself short. I think they are very creative, and entertaining. You get a dozen or so likes on a site that has maybe that many regulars. You should post them at the other groups you are on, that have more traffic and see what the response is.
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    Post by James.k.Polk Tue Apr 26, 2016 8:53 am

    Unless something changes, it looks like this Sunday I will be flying out to New Orleans for a couple of days. Our company compketed (is completing?) a merger with another cell phone mining company and I get to go there and help with the repair centers.

    I'm not exactly sure what the task is, or what cities, exactly. Just that it's in Louisianna and were flying. If it were Shreveport I think we'd be driving.

    I've never been to Nola. Guess I can scratch that one off the list.
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    Post by NebulaJack Mon Apr 25, 2016 7:22 pm

    James.k.Polk wrote:
    Patch wrote:
    James.k.Polk wrote:
    I have had a thought to build a new tumblr blog. I want to call it " The Everything Project". The idea is to take all the things I've drawn and doodled over the last few years and upload them all.  Even unfinished and fragmentary stuff, just doodles and stuff that didn't turn out.

    I like it. I enjoy seeing you art work. Makes me wish, I would take the time to do some myself. I tried spending a some time each day drawing a couple of months back. After 3 days, I was so disappointed with my attempts, I gave up.

    In unrelated news. Google Chrome hates me and I can no longer get the option to post to this site from Chrome. I guess I need to reload and see if it fixes the problem. Until then I have to use whatever windows is calling their browser these days.
    Right now I'm partly thinking that this is all just a self indulgence. You, Arkay and Maybe Gonzo look at the drawings. I need to not kid mtself that there's any audience at large flavoring to see goofy aliens and sexy moth men.

    Self indulgence is a good thing sometimes. I also enjoy looking at your art, so you've got an audience of at least 3 or 4.
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    Post by James.k.Polk Mon Apr 25, 2016 8:45 am

    Patch wrote:
    James.k.Polk wrote:
    I have had a thought to build a new tumblr blog. I want to call it " The Everything Project". The idea is to take all the things I've drawn and doodled over the last few years and upload them all.  Even unfinished and fragmentary stuff, just doodles and stuff that didn't turn out.

    I like it. I enjoy seeing you art work. Makes me wish, I would take the time to do some myself. I tried spending a some time each day drawing a couple of months back. After 3 days, I was so disappointed with my attempts, I gave up.

    In unrelated news. Google Chrome hates me and I can no longer get the option to post to this site from Chrome. I guess I need to reload and see if it fixes the problem. Until then I have to use whatever windows is calling their browser these days.
    Right now I'm partly thinking that this is all just a self indulgence. You, Arkay and Maybe Gonzo look at the drawings. I need to not kid mtself that there's any audience at large flavoring to see goofy aliens and sexy moth men.
    James.k.Polk
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    Post by James.k.Polk Mon Apr 25, 2016 8:42 am

    Patch wrote:
    James.k.Polk wrote:
    I have had a thought to build a new tumblr blog. I want to call it " The Everything Project". The idea is to take all the things I've drawn and doodled over the last few years and upload them all.  Even unfinished and fragmentary stuff, just doodles and stuff that didn't turn out.

    I like it. I enjoy seeing you art work. Makes me wish, I would take the time to do some myself. I tried spending a some time each day drawing a couple of months back. After 3 days, I was so disappointed with my attempts, I gave up.

    In unrelated news. Google Chrome hates me and I can no longer get the option to post to this site from Chrome. I guess I need to reload and see if it fixes the problem. Until then I have to use whatever windows is calling their browser these days.

    I use Chrome exclusively when I am at home and have not noticed a problem. A chrome at work occasionally refuses to load pages at all, especially if the system memory is low. I'd try clearing cache and temp files and see what happens.
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    Post by Patch Mon Apr 25, 2016 8:20 am

    James.k.Polk wrote:
    I have had a thought to build a new tumblr blog. I want to call it " The Everything Project". The idea is to take all the things I've drawn and doodled over the last few years and upload them all.  Even unfinished and fragmentary stuff, just doodles and stuff that didn't turn out.

    I like it. I enjoy seeing you art work. Makes me wish, I would take the time to do some myself. I tried spending a some time each day drawing a couple of months back. After 3 days, I was so disappointed with my attempts, I gave up.

    In unrelated news. Google Chrome hates me and I can no longer get the option to post to this site from Chrome. I guess I need to reload and see if it fixes the problem. Until then I have to use whatever windows is calling their browser these days.
    theIllustriousDrGonzo
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    Post by theIllustriousDrGonzo Mon Apr 25, 2016 2:44 am

    James.k.Polk wrote:
    theIllustriousDrGonzo wrote:
    James.k.Polk wrote:Traffic is light on a Saturday morning and even after dilly-dallying this morning, I find myself in Burleson a full forty minutes before the time I schedule myself to flock in.

    The newspaper at Chick Fil a is yesterday's and I'm bored. Also I have already spilled chick Fil a honey on my work shirt.

    In an unrelated development, I have had a thought to build a new tumblr blog. I want to call it " The Everything Project". The idea is to take all the things I've drawn and doodled over the last few years and upload them all.  Even unfinished and fragmentary stuff, just doodles and stuff that didn't turn out.

    After moms death I find myself hoping that when I'm gone, the things I did in life will not just vanish. The idea of having left no trace of my existence sort of horrifies.

    luckily people will be talking about my sexy face for centuries to come.

    I'm actually intrigued by your idea of making stickers and street-arting the mothman. I guess I'm going to need a color laser printer to do that. Which means it has to wait for a larger sales bonus check than what I'm getting this payday.


    http://www.uline.com/Product/Detail/S-5044/Laser-Labels/Laser-Labels-White-8-1-2-x-5-1-2?pricode=WY662&gadtype=pla&id=S-5044Q&gclid=COeR8_GkqcwCFQUFaQodlfIOgA&gclsrc=aw.ds

    Buy shipping labels, draw art on them. Cut them to shape with x-acto knife. Done.

    Next month should be decent as sales have really picked up and I have a sales team that is reall on the ball working for me.
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    Post by James.k.Polk Sun Apr 24, 2016 1:57 pm

    theIllustriousDrGonzo wrote:
    James.k.Polk wrote:Traffic is light on a Saturday morning and even after dilly-dallying this morning, I find myself in Burleson a full forty minutes before the time I schedule myself to flock in.

    The newspaper at Chick Fil a is yesterday's and I'm bored. Also I have already spilled chick Fil a honey on my work shirt.

    In an unrelated development, I have had a thought to build a new tumblr blog. I want to call it " The Everything Project". The idea is to take all the things I've drawn and doodled over the last few years and upload them all.  Even unfinished and fragmentary stuff, just doodles and stuff that didn't turn out.

    After moms death I find myself hoping that when I'm gone, the things I did in life will not just vanish. The idea of having left no trace of my existence sort of horrifies.

    luckily people will be talking about my sexy face for centuries to come.

    I'm actually intrigued by your idea of making stickers and street-arting the mothman. I guess I'm going to need a color laser printer to do that. Which means it has to wait for a larger sales bonus check than what I'm getting this payday.

    Next month should be decent as sales have really picked up and I have a sales team that is reall on the ball working for me.
    theIllustriousDrGonzo
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    Post by theIllustriousDrGonzo Sun Apr 24, 2016 2:22 am

    James.k.Polk wrote:Traffic is light on a Saturday morning and even after dilly-dallying this morning, I find myself in Burleson a full forty minutes before the time I schedule myself to flock in.

    The newspaper at Chick Fil a is yesterday's and I'm bored. Also I have already spilled chick Fil a honey on my work shirt.

    In an unrelated development, I have had a thought to build a new tumblr blog. I want to call it " The Everything Project". The idea is to take all the things I've drawn and doodled over the last few years and upload them all.  Even unfinished and fragmentary stuff, just doodles and stuff that didn't turn out.

    After moms death I find myself hoping that when I'm gone, the things I did in life will not just vanish. The idea of having left no trace of my existence sort of horrifies.

    luckily people will be talking about my sexy face for centuries to come.
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    Post by NebulaJack Sat Apr 23, 2016 9:32 pm

    James.k.Polk wrote:

    After moms death I find myself hoping that when I'm gone, the things I did in life will not just vanish. The idea of having left no trace of my existence sort of horrifies.

    I know whatcha mean. My one biggest desire is to create a story that far outlasts me. Something that people are still talking about decades or even centuries after I'm gone.
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    Post by James.k.Polk Sat Apr 23, 2016 8:46 am

    Traffic is light on a Saturday morning and even after dilly-dallying this morning, I find myself in Burleson a full forty minutes before the time I schedule myself to flock in.

    The newspaper at Chick Fil a is yesterday's and I'm bored. Also I have already spilled chick Fil a honey on my work shirt.

    In an unrelated development, I have had a thought to build a new tumblr blog. I want to call it " The Everything Project". The idea is to take all the things I've drawn and doodled over the last few years and upload them all. Even unfinished and fragmentary stuff, just doodles and stuff that didn't turn out.

    After moms death I find myself hoping that when I'm gone, the things I did in life will not just vanish. The idea of having left no trace of my existence sort of horrifies.
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    Post by Patch Fri Apr 22, 2016 9:59 pm

    NebulaJack wrote:
    NebulaJack wrote:I got paid yesterday and deposited my check in the bank. Tonight, after getting home from work, I got started on paying utility bills by phone, which I normally do at the beginning of the month. I was short at the beginning of the month, so I called the electric/water company and my ISP to let them know I'd pay on the 21st. So I call and go through the automated payment robot with E-web (the water/power company) and get that sorted.

    Then I get the autobot for comcast on the line, but it won't accept my payment. I keep getting an error message that my card's been declined. I log onto my banks's website, and GOD DAMNIT! I was going through the motions so quick that I accidentally paid the past due, and the current bill which just generated but isn't due til the beginning of May! FUCK! That leaves 11 bucks in my account, and it's past 5 so their customer services isn't available until tomorrow morning, and I don't even know if they'll be able to do anything.


    GODDAMNIT!

    Otherwise it was an okay day.

    Just got done calling into E-web customer service. They were able to reverse the charges, which immediately posted to my bank account and I was able to redo the payment properly and then get the internet sorted. Yay!

    Glad you got some cash back
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    Post by NebulaJack Fri Apr 22, 2016 11:59 am

    NebulaJack wrote:I got paid yesterday and deposited my check in the bank. Tonight, after getting home from work, I got started on paying utility bills by phone, which I normally do at the beginning of the month. I was short at the beginning of the month, so I called the electric/water company and my ISP to let them know I'd pay on the 21st. So I call and go through the automated payment robot with E-web (the water/power company) and get that sorted.

    Then I get the autobot for comcast on the line, but it won't accept my payment. I keep getting an error message that my card's been declined. I log onto my banks's website, and GOD DAMNIT! I was going through the motions so quick that I accidentally paid the past due, and the current bill which just generated but isn't due til the beginning of May! FUCK! That leaves 11 bucks in my account, and it's past 5 so their customer services isn't available until tomorrow morning, and I don't even know if they'll be able to do anything.


    GODDAMNIT!

    Otherwise it was an okay day.

    Just got done calling into E-web customer service. They were able to reverse the charges, which immediately posted to my bank account and I was able to redo the payment properly and then get the internet sorted. Yay!
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    Post by Patch Fri Apr 22, 2016 7:40 am

    Happy Friday everyone. Hated to hear about Prince yesterday. Little Red Corvette was the first song Prince song I heard (or at least related to Prince) I saw Purple Rain at the drive in when it came out.

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    Post by theIllustriousDrGonzo Fri Apr 22, 2016 4:25 am

    Patch wrote:
    James.k.Polk wrote:

    Oh come on.  My sleeping on an outlet store bed in real life is worse than his pretend dog bed.

    True, but you did say it was time for a new one. I know Gonzo has a hammock since it was part of his secret Santa, so I assume he lays on Timely's wigs just to feel closer to the one he loves.

    Timely wig sculpture. Also, I've always wanted to have a hammock hanging in the house.
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    Post by James.k.Polk Thu Apr 21, 2016 10:08 pm

    I just sold two iPhones to a low level crack dealer. YAY

    I mean, seriously. Face tattoos, shifty "cleaning business" talk and paying $800 worth of down payment money in cash.

    Also my rep made a joke about "feds watching" people's phones and the guy about had a stroke.


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    April fools thread - Page 3 Empty Re: April fools thread

    Post by Sponsored content


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